In Southern California, where cosmetic treatments and high beauty standards are common, a makeup-free mother offers a different perspective on aging. Jillian Pretzel’s 62-year-old mother has never used Botox, filler, or even makeup, and her choice has shaped her daughter’s view of confidence and time.
A College Roommate's Routine
The decision began during the mother’s freshman year of college. She watched her roommate spend nearly an hour each morning applying expensive products, then use a safety pin to separate individual eyelashes after layers of mascara. The sight horrified her—not just the time and money, but the risk of putting a sharp pin near an eye. At 18, she concluded that cosmetics were not for her.
She has always been practical, and her cost-benefit analysis weighed the time commitment, expense, and apparent danger. While she acknowledged that makeup can be a form of art and self-expression for some, to her it looked like work.
A Second Turning Point
In her 40s, as friends began getting Botox and face lifts and spending heavily on creams, she made another decision. She resolved to avoid all cosmetic procedures and even stopped wearing eyeliner and lip gloss for special occasions. She noticed that the women she knew seemed to devote more time to their looks as they aged, and she simply did not want to do the same.
A Daughter's Parallel Path
Meanwhile, the author was developing her own relationship with makeup. In the early 2000s, she started with lip gloss from a birthday party goodie bag and progressed to purple glitter eye shadow at school. Makeup made her feel pretty and grown-up during a time when she was self-conscious about her skin. Her mother did not discourage this exploration; she even dropped her daughter and friends off at the mall to spend at the MAC counter, without mocking over-lined lips or over-plucked eyebrows.
Still, the daughter sometimes wondered if her mother disapproved. After years of seeing an example of a woman who did not subscribe to beauty industry ideals, was she disappointed that her daughter would spend Christmas money on a new foundation?
Understanding the Choice
A recent conversation clarified things. The author asked her mother why she never wears makeup, and learned that the decision was never about makeup being good or bad, nor about self-confidence. It was about how to spend time. The mother would rather read a book or take a walk each morning than apply makeup, and she would rather spend money on drinks with people she cares about than on a new eyeshadow palette.
At 35, the author still enjoys makeup and is not opposed to trying Botox one day. She sometimes admires dolled-up Hollywood stars. But she wonders if she might eventually change her mind and redirect that time, money, and energy elsewhere.
What matters, she realizes, is not what her mother looks like or whether she chooses cosmetics. Because mother and daughter resemble each other strongly, the author has a unique advantage: she can see, more or less, what she will look like at 62 if she does nothing. Her mother’s face is not the product of fancy creams or surgery—it is nature plus time. And that, the author concludes, looks perfect.