When Sue Sands signed up for a Taiwan group tour with her husband, daughter, and 80-year-old mother, she expected to be the one keeping an eye on things. The trip, a 10-day guided itinerary, was the mother’s first visit to Asia, her first group tour, and her first overseas vacation in several years. Sands initially admired her mother’s adventurous spirit, but as the departure date neared, she quietly worried about long flights, unfamiliar food, and full days of sightseeing. Her mother is fit and active, Sands reasoned, but she is still 80.
Those concerns did not survive the first few days.
A Steep Climb at Sun Moon Lake
One of the defining moments came at Sun Moon Lake, on a steep, winding path to the Ci’en Pagoda. Under a midday sun, several younger members of the group were red-faced and breathless as they confronted a set of stone stairs disappearing into the trees. Sands, mindful of the heat and elevation, urged her mother to wait in the shade. Her mother ignored the suggestion and walked determinedly to the foot of the stairs. Encouraged by others on the path, she began the ascent.
Sands later reflected that reaching the pagoda may not have been the point. Being supported in her choice to stay independent and active mattered more to her mother than the destination. The pagoda, built by former president Chiang Kai-shek in honor of his mother, sits above the lake, but the climb itself became the memory.
Unexpected Skills and New Confidence
Back in Taipei, Sands watched her daughter help her grandmother download WhatsApp and join the tour group’s chat. At home, the mother usually preferred phone calls to texting, so Sands assumed the app would be ignored. Instead, with regular technical support from her granddaughter and friendly exchanges with other women in the group, she quickly grew comfortable posting comments and updates. She even appeared in one of the group chat’s daily galleries, smiling brightly during a traditional dance lesson. Her weekly line-dancing classes paid off: she picked up the steps faster than most of the group, drawing admiring comments from fellow travelers.
Her knowledge also came as a surprise. While the group waited outside the Chiang Kai-shek Memorial Hall for the changing-of-the-guard ceremony, Sands’s husband asked about the building’s history. Sands was reaching for her phone to search online when her mother answered from memory, recalling details from high school history lessons. Sands was glad her mother had spoken first.
A Different Kind of Night Out
Not every evening went according to plan. One night, Sands wanted to visit a night market with others from the group, but her mother was tired after a long day on the bus. Instead of splitting up, the family walked to a nearby 7-Eleven and assembled an impromptu picnic in their hotel room from local snacks. Over tuna mayo onigiri and canned wine, her mother shared childhood stories that were new to Sands, and all four of them laughed together. It was not the local food experience Sands had imagined, but it became one she will not forget.
By the end of the trip, Sands saw what the rest of the group had noticed from the beginning: an engaged traveler who remembered names and backstories, joined conversations, and enjoyed new experiences with her family. The supervision Sands had planned gave way to appreciation. Her mother had not needed looking after so much as room to be herself.
